For years I based my life on external validation and thought that my purpose was to make everyone around me happy. It was not until after my parents split up, and I came out of a very intense depression that I realized how important self-validation is and how to manage where I put my energy.
In January, I got an email from my friend Brad, inviting me to come and see his awesome Wilderness Program in Utah, Evoke Therapy Programs. "What a fun opportunity!" I thought to myself, and quickly, and rather impulsively, said yes.
“What is your job?” The question caught me off guard. I had been on the phone with this gentleman for about 40 minutes answering questions and giving details about our program. “I am in admissions and outreach” was my reply. It did get me thinking, though – what is my job. I am the answerer of questions! As an Admissions Representative, I spend the bulk of my time on the phone with prospective families answering their questions. I have been an Evoke employee for six years and as a former field staff and parent coordinator, I feel equipped and comfortable in my role.
Group One at Evoke's Wilderness Program in Central Oregon is at it again. Another adventure outing. This time we went rock climbing at Smith Rock State Park.
It can be a difficult decision to have your daughter or son leave home to participate in a therapeutic wilderness program. There can be elements of the unknown, thoughts that “my child is not that sick” or overwhelming feelings of uncertainty, shame or guilt. Frequently your child doesn’t want to go, they think they don’t need help, don’t want help, or believe they can get the help they need at home. While home treatment can absolutely work for some, others can be so lost they need to create some physical separation, so the child can truly focus on their own personal well-being. In a recent blog article, a previous student of a wilderness therapy program, referring to herself as a “treatment-kid”, expressed her feelings before leaving home:
My journey at Second Nature Entrada is one I will never forget. It was the start of the rest of my life. The feelings and emotions I had before entering the wilderness were ones I never thought would change. Feelings of emptiness, heavy sadness, hopelessness, and anger swirled in my body as I boarded the plane to go to Utah. I remember feeling anxious and overwhelmed, not knowing what to expect and not knowing what I had just signed myself up for. At this point I felt this program was my last shot at living, feeling like if it didn’t “work” I was destined to committing suicide. I held my breath, my heart beating out of my chest… I got off the plane, ready or not– my journey begins.
The sun was setting on this particular balmy evening in October. A gentle breeze rustled through the juniper trees and brought wafts of sweet smelling sage across the open field near where the group was camped. The temperature was that perfect in-between: not real warm or real chilly. It was altogether different than the images of red rock formations and sprawling cactus that comes to mind when one thinks of the southwest, but then this was autumn in the high desert.