It's been said that the cost of important lessons in life goes up each year. Like a form of inflation built into the human psyche, the lessons we don’t learn today have a tendency to come at a more painful cost in the future. As a therapist working with families across their lifespan, it seems each year brings bigger responsibilities that come with more serious consequences. Whether life is giving you a crash course on boundaries and self-care or a reminder that grief and letting go is deeply woven into our daily lives; circumstances beyond our control are constantly trying to teach us about the nature of healing and growth.
The other night I had an interesting dream. I was swimming in a deep ocean with my kids. I could see my two boys floating ahead of me just beyond my reach. I could feel the coolness of the water and the contrast of the dark blue depth below me and the bright glow of the sun above. In depth psychology, the image of water is referred to as a symbol of the unconscious. Dreams remind us of a vast ocean of emotional experience that we have yet to fully understand.
When I became a parent, I felt determined to do things differently. I thought that being a “good parent” meant protecting my kids from the hurt and disappointment of a deeply dysfunctional world. It’s a common sentiment amongst parents to want to give our children a better life than the one we had. In recent years, I’ve come to realize how so many messages we hear about parenting are so incredibly flawed.
Whether you are new to therapy or have been seeing a therapist for years, participating in a therapeutic intensive can be a life-changing experience. Each month I hear the stories of our courageous alumni, and I answer calls from those who are curious to learn what Evoke Intensives are all about. Recently, I was discussing the process with a participant, and they described “being forever changed” by their Intensive experience. He said, “It’s almost unexplainable how different I feel in such a short time.” He went on to use words like “supercharged,” “life saving,” and “breakthrough” to talk about the radical shift that occurred for him. Many of our participants share similar stories and refer to their intensive experience as a critical turning point in their lives.
Finding connection and forging a path towards intimacy and understanding is one of the most heroic experiences that I know. Each time I sit with a couple and hear their story, I am reminded of my own story and the stories of the people I love and have inevitably hurt. The journey of the heroic couple is not for the faint of heart. For parents, the notion of divorcing your kids seems unthinkable, but for couples the statistical probability of divorce can be more than 50 percent. Couples therapy can be a grueling experience navigating deep wounds and complexities, psychological defenses, and emotional trauma that can span generations. The risk is great but the reward for those who choose this path can be life changing. Evoke Intensives offers a safe place for couples to reconnect and revitalize their relationship with themselves and each other. For couples willing to embark on a journey towards healing and wholeness, Finding Connection is a therapeutic intensive that is revolutionizing the way couples therapy can be done.
Like it or not, the world of human services is going online, and the need for a transformative experience with a highly skilled therapist that is accessible in the comfort and safety of the home has never been more apparent.